d100 Tavern Patron Descriptions

Gruff dwarf nursing an old war wound and a stronger ale.

Elven bard strumming a lute, eyes scanning the room.

Shifty halfling with too many pockets and not enough reasons.

Gloomy cleric drinking alone, symbol of a forgotten god on their neck.

One-eyed mercenary counting gold with stained fingers.

Red-faced noble slumming it, clearly uncomfortable.

Goblin chef boasting about the “meat” in the stew.

Silent ranger with a wolf curled at her feet.

Stooped old man sketching maps from memory.

Orc in priest robes, sipping tea politely.

Pale warlock staring into a mug like it's a portal.

Drunken gnome loudly retelling a story no one asked for.

Hooded stranger offering to read your palm—for a price.

Tiefling with tattoos that shift in the candlelight.

Knight out of armor, keeping one hand on their sword.

Druid complaining about the furniture being made of trees.

Blind seer muttering omens between drinks.

Sailor covered in barnacles, smelling of the sea.

Wizard and their sentient book arguing over ale.

Minotaur bartender tossing out a troublemaker with one hand.

Hunter covered in furs and blood, looking for work.

Woman with one boot off, fixing her prosthetic foot.

Bard with more instruments than songs.

Paladin too upright to enjoy the atmosphere.

Merchant loudly celebrating a trade route no one else cares about.

Skeleton in a cloak, accepted by regulars but never orders.

Pair of twins pretending to be one person to win bar bets.

Jester without a troupe, face too painted, smile too wide.

Squire lamenting their master's recent dragon-related death.

Retired assassin starting a wine business.

Halfling thief trying to sell “magic” beans.

Ghost who orders the same drink every night.

Noblewoman incognito, guarded by a disguised knight.

Dwarf in academic robes sketching everyone at the bar.

Werebear in human form nervously watching the full moon rise.

Young wizard testing a charm to warm his ale.

Half-elf war veteran spinning tales for coin.

Mute tiefling who writes insults on napkins.

Tired midwife trying to drink in peace.

Ex-pirate whistling a cursed tune.

Fortune hunter with a cursed crown in their bag.

Farmer's kid hoping to recruit adventurers to kill rats.

Blacksmith with burns, swearing vengeance on a fire elemental.

Dancer resting sore feet, glitter still clinging to their skin.

Scholar with a talking parrot that spills secrets.

Dark-robed cultist trying too hard to act casual.

Retired adventurer writing a terrible memoir.

Elf fascinated by darts, clearly not understanding the rules.

Tired innkeeper pretending to be a customer for one drink.

Drunk guard too loose-lipped about town secrets.

Exiled prince slumming it until “the time is right.”

Barmaid who might be a retired adventurer in disguise.

Halfling gambler with loaded dice and a loaded crossbow.

Enchanter bottling tavern laughter for reasons unknown.

Tavern regular who speaks only in riddles.

Sorcerer performing tiny tricks for coin and ego.

Alchemist trying to get someone to taste their brew.

Dragonborn bard humming fire-themed tunes.

Nervous courier waiting for someone who's late.

Monk practicing breathing exercises over a bowl of stew.

Half-orc child tagging along behind their adventuring parent.

Cartographer drawing the tavern from memory.

Vampire pretending to sip wine.

Gladiator with bruises and fans.

Sailor claiming to have seen the edge of the world.

Nervous priest shadowing a clearly possessed villager.

Elf sketching customers, pages full of warnings.

Pickpocket blending in with travelers.

Giant in disguise, hunched over an undersized stool.

Illusionist changing appearance every time you blink.

Old knight polishing armor no longer worn.

Foreign diplomat waiting for a secret meeting.

Harried courier mixing up letters.

Grave robber drinking away guilt—or glee.

Smuggler with a bag that hisses occasionally.

Apprentice mage setting things on fire by accident.

Troll wearing glasses and reading poetry.

Guild recruiter watching from the shadows.

Ghost hunter carrying vials that glow when they talk.

Drunk cleric confessing sins to a barstool.

Kobold disguised as a child, eyeing everyone's gear.

Inventor trying to make a self-refilling mug.

Retired thief constantly watching the exits.

Sorceress idly levitating olives into her drink.

Man claiming he once was a god.

Fey noble curious about “mortal entertainment.”

Warforged struggling to understand the concept of alcohol.

Cult leader charming new followers between rounds.

Local drunk who always almost starts a bar fight.

Druid arguing with a potted plant on their table.

Necromancer asking how fresh the meat is.

Wizard's apprentice late for their master's errand.

Fortune-teller with a cracked crystal ball.

Mysterious stranger who's always in the corner.

Chef trying to convince the tavern to carry giant spider meat.

Drunk adventurers reenacting their “glory days.”

Waitress who knows too much about everyone.

Orc poet muttering rhymes under his breath.

Goblin merchant offering fake “anti-curse” trinkets.

Mute child drawing horrifying monsters with shocking accuracy.